Keepingit100's Blog

Romance in the Workplace

Posted on: November 13, 2009

What is it about the work force and the opposite sex??? For some reason, women and men who can, and do make friends easily with people of the same sex, just tend to form boarderline inappropriate relationships with opposite sexes. A woman could have a perfectly friendly and fair female boss, but that same woman would develop a personal and flirty relationship with a male boss or co-worker. I am not sure if they see him as a father figure, or an unattainable romantic interest, but women do things for a male boss that they would never do for a female boss; cook for him, confide in him about the troubles she’s with her man, do more work than what is required, and very efficiently too. If a female boss were to ask any of those things to her female employee she would be met with a resounding “no!”

Is it because of the sexist culture that is so embedded in all facets of this country that women make consessions for their male bosses, and almost assume the role of wife, even in the workplace? It is not difficult to see how a man could have an affair with a female employee; if she is fulfilling the duties that he expects of his wife (only in the workplace, and not in the home) he finds in his workplace wife characteristics that are attractive to him, additionally, she, as his employee, supports him, in a way that a wife does. So many movies, including Obsessed, which is an updated version of an old favorite, Fatal Attraction, play on this chemistry that exists within the workplace, but ignore the sexist undertones.

While the employee and the employer are very attractive people, and a physical attraction seems obvious, the fact that they assume the stereo-typical role is what allows room for the affair; he is masculine and demanding, and virtually insensitive to all her feelings, and she is happily submissive, taking on extra work to please him, when he will be the only one who truly benefits from her efficiency.

Men too, might persue a woman in the workplace that they might not ordinarily be able to have romantic interactions with were it not for the fact that they have a working friendship. If a beautiful woman works and develops a friendship with a less attractive man than she, but she enjoys his company, his sentiments, and his willingness to do some of her work for her, or, if she relies on the completion of his job in order for her to do her own, and he is efficient in his work, she would likely find his reliablity attractive, and he makes her job less daunting. It is unlikely that he is as hard-working as he seems, but he is doing so to win her over, and it is usually effective.

The workplace is undoubtedly a dangerous place for people in committed relationships, it can be more tempting than a strip club (because at least then you know what you are and are not getting), but in the work place, there’s no telling how far the other person is willing to go, and curiosity is a deadly killer…….

9 Responses to "Romance in the Workplace"

i love this!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are so intelligent…. mentally stimulated for the day.. thanx!

Ummmm Imma need you to expound upon your comment!!!! What are your opinions on the topic? Flattery will get you nowhere (except in real life, then feel free to butter me up lol)!!!!!

So true because most people spend the majority of their day at work so they get use to seeing the same people. People see you mood and or hear a conversation gone wrong and make a move. I do not agree with it because at the end of the day, it will always end bad…

Always bad! Instead of saying “I want a man like that” women in the work place tend to say “I want that man”!!!

I think the dynamics in the workplace are very very interesting and being the quiet fly on the wall that I am, I see and hear a lot of things that make it all the more so. Being around the same people all the time, things are bound to happen. Usually it is just the basic acquaintanceship, but sometimes when one person shows a little more interest…things happen!!! (Its funny)

Romance in the workplace is a phenomenon I am all to familiar with. My son is the direct result of relationship I started with a man who worked security at a club I danced at. It had all the trimmings of a “forbidden” romance. Although neither one of us was in a relationship at the time, it was the element of secrecy that fueled our intimations. Stolen kisses while working our shift, holding hands under the table, doe-eyed stares from across the room…it felt like a teen-age love affair.
As far as the boss/employee romance goes, I believe it can be a recipe for disaster. The employee receives a false sense of security in his or her job, believing they are entitled to a fair amount of protection in their job because of the intimate nature of their relationship to the “Boss Man”. When either one is carrying on an affair, then all boundaries have been crossed, and this is when people start playing with fire.
There’s a reason why employer/employee relations are contractually forbidden in the corporate workplace, and I don’t think it should be any different in the club scene. It tampers with the flow of the work culture, and once things so officially sour between the lovers, it provides all the ingredients for a Jerry Springer episode.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ms.Krista…

djt

Wow!!! Now that’s how you comment on a blog post! Thanks Dinah for your very personal and insightful account of romance in the workplace!

So true!!!! You have a fantastic way of painting a picture with your words! Women do act uber submissive to male bosses, especially when that boss is attractive, and or charming. I worked with my ex before, I was a bar tender and he was a bouncer at a club, and we didnt tell anyone that we were in a relationship—living together in fact! And you should’ve seen the way the women who worked with us threw themselves on him, and flirted with him. Then when he got promoted to manager, it was an all out free for all, he would tell him that he had a girlfriend, and they didnt even care!!! Sometimes I would say things like “I can’t wait til I meet his girlfriend, Im going to tell her about all the little SLUTS he works with!!!” LOL

This is always a sticky situation, but I’d like to think as you get older and more mature, people will be more familiar with the boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. Unfortunately this isnt always the case, people act irresponsibly at any age, but after you’ve experienced life, you can make a better judgment about risks that aren’t worth losing your job and or relationship. Good Luck!

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